form eighteen

The paperwork is far worse than the pain.

how the lille escaped hellville

I am a saint for refraining from shoving pantookas and wuzzles two feet up her ass before I walked out forever. Trust me on this.

music and mania in a blender

I want to hear Bernadette in “Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert” say, “NO MORE FUCKING DVORAK.”

well-hung santa

We cup Santa in our hands every year and check to make sure he’s well-hung.

’twas the day before christmas

Clement Clarke Moore … sorry, man. Don’t be mad, bro, because you’ve been dead for 156 years and you’d make a wicked dust-cloud zombie.

the free world

“And now I am going out into the free world, and farm.” -William Faulkner, Monk

what america means to me

When I was eight years old, some civic organization commissioned the teachers of all of the older elementary school students in our county, grades three through five, to have them…

Continue ….

to my dear choir invincible

This is my last time singing Messiah with this wonderful choir. So please, don’t fuck it up. Here are some rules.